Conveniences of the Future and other things
by Tokahlia
Summary: Oneshot. Sesshoumaru muses about hygiene and wanders into a scene worthy of his thoughts.


AN As I was writing the next chapter of The Victorious my muse decided to attack me. Enjoy this bit of whimsy.

_I do not own InuYasha, although a certain stoic lord is very huggable I sadly did not create him._

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><p>Conveniences of the Future and other things<p>

"_I do not eat human food."_

They had been some of the words he had first said to his to-be-daughter. Sesshoumaru said nothing but the truth and expected nothing less.

But, he might have been exaggerating slightly with that statement.

In fact, the _daiyoukai_ found the scents and smells of human food oddly compelling. For a stoic and refrained demon such as himself it held an allure similar to things deemed 'taboo', like adopting a human child. _Youkai_ had limited palettes and were not ones for extravagant banquets or the such. Really, dragon meat was only slightly tenderer than that of bear, who was he to judge? Humans on the other hand, though he despised them to no amount, had more sense of taste compared to his own kind.

Pity all of their other senses were pathetically weak. Otherwise they might warrant some remarking on his part. If they were not so despicable he might begin to see them as a whole as more than above ants on his 'care about' list. So far he had one human on the list; Rin. But, he digressed.

Human food had the potential to tantalise the lord enough to try some but all that potential was wasted on one thing.

Uncleanliness.

If there was one thing Sesshoumaru despised it was dirt. As strange combinations of flavours and food wafted up to his nose all the promising elements were dropped as he smelt hints of less pleasant things. Excrement, stagnant water, dirt; once his sense of smell had picked out those scents they were impossible to ignore.

It wasn't something he held to humans as a whole. No, other _youkai_ were just as guilty as them, sometimes more.

Bird demons from the east offered him worm larvae for dessert; "_This one does not partake in bird food."_

The northern pack of wolves invited him for dinner; "_Sesshoumaru only eats cooked meat."_

Really, it was impossible for the Western Lord to find food clean and tempting enough for him to eat. In its own way it was almost deplorable except for the fact that Sesshoumaru was the Killing Perfection and thus was not deplorable in any way.

As these thoughts tumbled through his mind, Sesshoumaru did not realise where he was going. Of course, being the ultimate being that he was it was not as if Sesshoumaru was not ready to attack or defend himself at any moment, it was simply that he did not care to figure out where he was headed at this precise instant.

Therefore, it was almost a surprise for Sesshoumaru to realise that the annoying noise was not a headache caused by such trivial thoughts but that it was actually the half-breed's voice.

"Wench! What are you doing?" Really, did he have _no_ sense of proper decorum? Such a stain on his father's name.

"Stop complaining InuYasha." Sesshoumaru stopped just outside the forest glade, masking his _youki_ with practised ease. It appeared that the _miko_, whom the _hanyou_ had _so_ lovingly called 'wench' was retaliating. "Just because it's not ramen," she murmured.

"Stupid-head!" Sesshoumaru could have chuckled as the kit began backing up the strange girl. "Kagome-chan is making us real food, aren't you excited?" His half-brother was not meant to lead this pack, any fool could tell that. The way the members openly disagreed with him was proof enough. In fact, if Sesshoumaru were to judge with clear eyes he would have guessed that the human girl with the strange clothes and grey eyes was the Alpha. The half-breed had no charisma.

"Now Shippou, do you want to help me?" The girl turned to the fox, ignoring an unhappy dog sitting sullenly away.

"Of course mama!" The kit grinned very widely, causing Sesshoumaru to sneer in repugnance. The woman would be preparing food with her hair down and with help from a dirty child, disgusting.

Then Sesshoumaru's self-important smirk fell from his face.

He watched with eyes unblinking as the priestess firstly tied up her hair with a looped ribbon then rummaged around in her yellow sack. Pans, pots, cooking utensils; everything was shiny and different. Superstitiously he sniffed, only to find that they were made of a strange kind of metal. '_What has the hanyou been concealing from This Sesshoumaru?' _Nothing was strange or unusual to him, the being of supreme conquest.

The _miko _pulled out a small clear bottle and with a flick of her thumb opened the lid. Mere nanoseconds after the click audibly said that the container was open Sesshoumaru found it hard to stay conscious. Inuyasha covered his nose, the kit flinched, but, as he battled to stay awake the Western Lord was drawn to the repelling concoction.

Clean.

"Kagome! Why do you have to get that stuff out?" InuYasha grumbled, voice muffled and hoarse through the sleeve of his _suikan. _

"I've told you before; it's to clean your hands!" She helpfully replied, squirting out a small dosage onto the _kitsune's_ paw before turning to her own. The liquid evaporated on her skin, Sesshoumaru watched, perplexed as the area the liquid touched eliminated all foul odours.

"I don't like this stuff though Kagome," the kit pouted, rubbing his hands together in a frenzy. "It's too harsh, anti-bacterial lavender soap smells better." What were they talking about?

"Soap needs water, Shippou-chan, the river is too far away."

"Hand sanitizer makes my nose itchy." How was he ignorant?

"But it kills all the tiny germs, viruses and bacteria around that make you sick. You have to be hygienic." Were they speaking in code?

Sesshoumaru made a myriad of mental notes, intrigued and infuriated by the things the woman said with such confidence and conviction. As the _daiyoukai _watched she set aflame contained gas (called a stove) with a match (which was like wooden flint with a smelly odour). He found himself entranced and enticed by these little luxuries.

Wherever this, Kagome came from she spoke of cleanliness as such a high thing, something to be obtained and treasured. On their first meeting she had smelled too much of the half-breed, later like melted bone, for him to notice but it was obvious now.

The mortal was clean.

It was unthinkable yet it was true. As she prepared dinner the dog lord could not help but appreciate the way her hair shone with health, the cleanliness of her fingernails, her pure scent.

So Sesshoumaru, not repulsed by her habits decided to observe as the woman prepared the group's dinner. Even her cooking utensils were spotless, he could only find pale traces of food on their sides; he was impressed. She washed the plants with water, cut them up and added strange spices and ingredients to a pot of water. It was almost obsessive, he mused, but she made it seem so natural and logical that Sesshoumaru found himself believing her claim that little creatures created sickness in the world.

When the _Inutaichi _began to eat Sesshoumaru realised that it would be best if he left. After all, he was hungrier than he had ever been before and his iron-will would only stop his stomach from becoming mutinous for so long.

As he walked away from the group Sesshoumaru did not expect to be halted by a hand tugging gently at his empty sleeve. Slowly, like he had all the time in the world, the stoic lord turned his head fractionally, just enough to see a slightly flustered chef.

The woman bowed to him, waiting until he turned around completely before explaining her actions. "I saw you and thought you might be hungry." the girl presented a bowl of the dinner to him with both hands, her right keeping a pair of plain wooden chopsticks on top.

Sesshoumaru could only stare at the _miko,_ the food, her hands. As if what he had seen was not proof enough the lord took a subtle breath in, once again scenting no sign of foulness near him.

"Well, I guess you don't even eat human food, or something right? Plus I'm just your brother's wench..." she was embarrassed, pulling the bowl closer to her body and trying to cover her blush with her black fringe. It didn't work. Why try to hide yourself visually if everything was revealed to him by scent and sound?

Sesshoumaru was close to agreeing with her statements when he found himself acting without thought. A traitorous hand lifted the bowl from under the woman's own, supremely balancing the chopsticks on top of the strange material without help from his long-lost arm. The _miko _blinked up at him, eyes wide in surprise as Sesshoumaru accepted her offering.

"Half-brother," was all he said before turning on his heel and walking into the forest.

As the Lord of the Western Lands tried to come up with some reason to justify himself he instead came to a different conclusion. _'This Sesshoumaru only eats food worthy of him, made by worthy beings.'_

As Kagome cleaned the dishes that night by the river she was surprised to see a bowl, made of thin, white china waiting for her. Closer inspection revealed that it was the one she had impulsively given to the older brother of her companion. Kagome smiled at the sparkling state of the dish; but decided that she might as well be safe and moved it to its brothers and began washing with lemon scented dish wash. Little did she know that two golden eyes were watching her movements with approval.

As Sesshoumaru faded into the night scenery he wondered whether this woman could possibly be moved to the same list as Rin.

After all, cleanliness was next to godliness.


End file.
